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Kidnapped by Space Aliens

Richard Galpin of the Moscow bureau of the BBC News reports today that Kirsum Ilyumzhinov, president of Kalymkia and president of the World Chess Federation, has claimed he was kidnapped by visiting space aliens, who took him aboard their craft as part of a mission to procure "samples". Precisely what kind of samples is not clear from Galpin's report, though one might reasonably assume Mr. Ilyumzhinov was relieved of some of his hair, epidermis, blood, and perhaps other bodily fluids. Perhaps he was even subjected to the dread alien probe--though I must not let speculation run away with me.

Mr. Ilyumzhinov states he has witnesses to his abduction.

Russian MP Andre Lebedev has requested that Russian President Dmitry Medvedev look into the matter. In a letter to Medvedev, Lebedev expressed his fears that Ilyumzhinov might have unwittingly betrayed state secrets to his intergalactic sample-harvesters. Mr. Lebedev asked also if there was a government-approved protocol for dealing with aliens should someone in high position be approached by them. I am sure that if a protocol is not currently in place, one is being established as we speak.

Side note:

Reading this article reminded me of a Sunday supplement piece I read many years ago about several American women who claimed to have been abducted by aliens. What struck me most was that all of the women interviewed, if memory serves, had names such as "Skye" or "Amber" or "Caresse" or "Jewel". It left me wondering why women with names like "Susan" or "Elaine" or "Pam" or "Denise" or "Sandra" or "Claire" or "Linda" or "Debbie" or "Esther" never seem to be kidnapped by aliens.
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